The voice of the people. Sorry, people.
In London, on our way to Ghana and hanging out in the British Airways children’s lounge. We were quickly asked to leave. #ConanGhana
RT @ConanOBrien: I happily flew to New York City to experience @Lin_Manuel's remarkable brain. http://apple.co/TeamCoco https://t.co/1YBogaB…
I happily flew to New York City to experience @Lin_Manuel's remarkable brain. http://apple.co/TeamCoco
Happy Fathers Day to anyone wearing shorts with a belt.
Breaking: This year’s Nobel Peace Prize will go to the leader who killed the least people.
For the record--if the Russian government ever contacts me about anything, or if I see a spider, I call the FBI.
RT @SamRichardson: I’m Going to Ghana with @ConanOBrien next week! https://twitter.com/conanobrien/status/1139354102360465408
I’m going to Ghana to shoot our next “Conan Without Borders” special and I’m bringing @SamRichardson with me. https://youtu.be/9DIkYZmobfY #ConanGhana
I DVR’d the US Women’s soccer game against Thailand. No spoilers!
I heard the Grim Reaper is now on anti-depressants.
@billyeichner joined me for a high-stakes game of "Crash Team Racing Nitro-Fueled." https://youtu.be/6TsIGLtt8-8 #CluelessGamer
I’ve been having a hard time convincing my wife that I’m not a robocall.
I'm very excited today to welcome on my podcast one of the twelve funniest Canadians alive. http://apple.co/TeamCoco
Good news, I just got my Fast Pass for Mount Everest.
Look, there are enough NBA free agency rumors swirling already, but let me just say this - Clippers? I'm available.
If opinions are like assholes, I need to start bleaching my opinions.
I #WearOrange for National Gun Violence Awareness Day.
People will get used to the new Apple Mac Pro which looks like a cheese grater. I'm sending this from a Dell that looks like a garlic press.
Should I get the new Macbook Pro, Macbook Air, iPad Pro, or just see how my kids are doing?
Last night's Jeopardy was the most watched episode in 14 years. I have to say, it was very cathartic to finally watch a white man lose to an overqualified woman.
Win or lose at least the Toronto Raptors know they have healthcare.
The brilliant @Hannahgadsby stopped by my podcast to talk about her groundbreaking special "Nanette," the pitfalls of self-deprecation, and what's next for her. https://apple.co/TeamCoco
Shark Tank idea: a microwave that will self-destruct if someone tries to use it to cook fish.
If you’re a candidate trying to beat Trump in 2020, take away his greatest weapon by changing your name to “Lil Lyin Crookednuts.”
Just programmed my Alexa to order a pizza if I shout incoherently for more than 10 seconds
When God closes a Gryffindor, He opens a Grindylow. #HarryPotter #SorryNotSorry
Tough week, just found out my wife and I pronounce "gif" differently.
We just lost Edmund Morris, a great historian of Theodore Roosevelt and Ronald Reagan. I was lucky enough to interview him a few years ago and he will be missed. https://youtu.be/8beHB_xkdok?t=17
Throwback Monday to the best crowd ever, the troops stationed at Al Udeid AFB in Qatar. #MemorialDay
I grew up listening to @BobNewhart records and was honored to have him on my podcast. It's one of the funniest episodes we've done. http://apple.co/TeamCoco
I can’t be the only one writing Lester Holt fan fiction.
I’ll bet the minute John Wick enters a building, no one is more upset than its cleaning staff.
This person is starting a band and they need, well, EVERYTHING.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre = Movie Florida Chainsaw Massacre = Headline
Psst…cars are just bigger shopping carts.
Sad Craigslist ad: “Seeking a second and third for a 3-way.”
I'm wearing my USO T-shirt, the Official Uniform of the Military Supporter, to say thank you to our Armed Forces. You can get your shirt by donating to @the_USO today: http://USO.org/Uniform #USOSupporter
I’m starting to think I missed my window on having a rat tail.
They’ve announced the names for this year’s hurricanes. Once again, no Kanye, Apple or Conan.
It was a thrill to talk with @HowardStern about his new book and the evolution of his long career. http://apple.co/TeamCoco
I had no idea you could just tell Congress “no.” Good luck getting me to pay that parking ticket, City of Santa Monica.
A big part of me is hoping the upcoming “Bill & Ted” sequel is just the two of them watching “John Wick 3” and constantly saying, “Whoa.”
Always a joy to run into a legend. @alanalda
Cutting back on my meat intake because what if God turns out to be a gigantic condescending vegan?
Just ran into one of my big tv crushes. @jameelajamil
When I was a kid watching "The Carol Burnett Show," no one made me laugh harder than Tim Conway. What a sweet and effortlessly funny man.
When we die, all the concert footage we’ve shot on our phones flashes before our eyes.
I know I’m late to the party but I just flew to NY and finally had a chance to binge-watch Tim Robinson’s sketch show. DAMNIT— what a delightfully hilarious, insane show. How do I get a job there? #TimRobinson #IThinkYouShouldLeave
How to get a Netflix special the hard way: do stand up for a decade The easy way: be a serial killer
Bill Hader is a giggling fool and a hilarious multi-talented gentleman. He'll never be on the podcast again. http://apple.co/TeamCoco
If I look hungover it’s because this year, Mother’s Day and Cinco de Mayo were only 7 days apart.
I just had to tell my wife I’ve never heard of something called a “Mother’s Day Hall Pass.”
 
 
 
 
 
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