It begins with me covered in sperm, trapped in my old man's balls. Then, suddenly... ESCAPE!
Mr @georgeedelman: Since you took the time to shit on my 26 year career over a Tweet that wasn’t directed at you from an account you don’t even follow, I converted your negative energy into positive by paying compliments to 3 different people just now. Thanks for the inspiration!
There are only 4 cities left on the #JayAndSilentBobReboot Roadshow Tour: Macon, GA, Jacksonville, FL, Birmingham, AL, and New Orleans, LA! So that means starting next month, you can stream our flick all you want, exclusively on @PrimeVideo!
GEORGIA! The #JayAndSilentBobReboot Roadshow returns TONIGHT - this time in MACON at @CapitolMacon! Wanna join us? Grab tickets here:
Religions have been founded on the Bible, resulting in millions of people deriving inspiration and moral strength from amazing stories about fantastic feats of faith. Hundreds of years from now, our descendants will find divine inspiration from the story of Cap wielding Mjolnir.
CHARLESTON! We dance into town for the South Carolina stop of the #JayAndSilentBobReboot Roadshow Tour at the Music Hall TONIGHT! Wanna vote in *this* primary? Get your tickets here:
Lost in the #JayAndSilentBobReboot Roadshow Tour (only 5 cities left!), so I forgot to mark the 13th Birthday of #SModcast (we launched on February 5th, 2007)! And for our lucky 13th year, we’ll be opening #SModcastle on 4/20! This was the old logo; anyone wanna design a new one?
CHARLOTTE! The city where I shot @tuskthemovie! I’m back in town TONIGHT with the #JayAndSilentBobReboot Roadshow Tour! We only have 5 cities left ‘til tour’s end! Wanna join us? Tickets at
Don’t wait to get picked by others: pick yourself. I was this girl once - but then I wrote my own script that showcased what I could do and made it with my friends. Do this, rinse & repeat until they start picking you. But by then, you won’t need them: you’ll have your own thing.
They got it to me and I love it! You and the rest of the #JayAndSilentBobReboot crowd at the @CarolinaDurham last night were an excellent audience, and then when I got off stage, I got this jaunty little hat! Many thanks, @DaveHolcomb13! Photo of the hat in action forthcoming...
Hit up @livroush! She’ll get you backstage. Lots of space here.
This nearly 50 year old parent was there too! And look! It’s @livroush on stage doing her #JayAndSilentBobReboot pre-show intro! “When I say Snoochies...”
NORTH CAROLINA! Anyone want a free ticket to #JayAndSilentBobReboot TONIGHT? A generous @abreakey has you covered! Thanks, Adam!
Bummed to be missing you on the #JayAndSilentBobReboot Roadshow Tour but I completely understand: real life comes before reel life. @JordanMonsanto? Can we help Matthew get his money back?
VIRGINIA! The #JayAndSilentBobReboot Roadshow hits RICHMOND today! The night show at @TheNationalRVA is sold out but there are still some seats left for the 3:30 matinee screening! Wanna spend your Saturday with me? Some tickets left at the link below!
By the Power of Grayskull! The @MastersOfficial show we’ve been making with @mattel and @netflix has a Valentines Day gift for you! LOOK AT THAT CAST! Better yet, LISTEN TO THAT CAST! I have for the last few months and they’re INCREDIBLE!
To paraphrase Brodie, “That’s the most romantic thing I’ve ever seen!” Happy Valentines Day, @Derek_Eads! (Derek is the artist of the amazing Askewniverse birthday cards we sell exclusively at @The_SecretStash:
As the author of a certain @JimLee story in #Detective1000, I pray to SMod this is true...
DELAWARE is Dela-where you wanna spend Valentines Day tomorrow, seeing the #JayAndSilentBobReboot Roadshow Tour stop in WILMINGTON! Nothing says I Love You to your partner more than getting them oral from me! Plenty of tickets here:
These fine folks fed me at the brand new @VeggieGrill in the Flatiron district of NYC! After weeks of being away from my favorite foods, I finally got to gorge again! My thanks to all the people pictured & all VG employees! (This is not a paid ad: I just love that #VeggieGrill!)
This Wiener’s too soft. The #JayAndSilentBobReboot Roadshow takes a lot out of Shecky, so she sleeps in the car. We hit TARRYTOWN tonight, tomorrow is LONG ISLAND, Thursday is BALTIMORE. Wanna join us at one of the 12 cities remaining? Look for tickets at
Apologies! The boxes with covers to sign have to reach me on the road. Problem was, we worked 7 days straight last week on the #JayAndSilentBobReboot Roadshow Tour, in 7 different cities. Getting 1000 new covers in the a.m. to sign so @The_SecretStash will send out ASAP! Promise!
SHECKY IN NYC! I like this one. One dog goes one way, the other dog goes the other way, and this guy's sayin', “Whaddaya want from me?”
Just got done with the Reboot Roadshow in #Hartford so I missed the #AcademyAwards. Shecky wants to know how many #Oscars her cameo in #JayAndSilentBobReboot won.
Haven’t been home in a month while on this leg of the #JayAndSilentBobReboot Roadshow Tour, so Shecky & I are watching the #AcademyAwards pre-show on a laptop in Hartford, Connecticut, hoping to catch a glimpse of our house whenever they do landscape shots. So far, no dice...
Three times?! You were likely the one who put #JayAndSilentBobReboot over the top financially (well, you or @CannaMiss)! Many thank to you and all the other folks who hit the Reboot Roadshow Tour more than once! You humble me with your patronage!
You neglected to point out that #JayAndSilentBobReboot was shot completely in focus. And look at all this flopping. So much flopping...
I’ll be honest: @pajiba was the only review of #JayAndSilentBobReboot I’ve been dying to read! Dustin was a fan of Clerks II, and Reboot is the most Clerks II-ish movie I’ve made since... Well, Clerks II. Was happy to read this on the shitter this morning! Thanks, @keithcoogan!
You Albanyans were wonderful to me and #JayAndSilentBobReboot - as were the folks in Providence last night! Thanks for spending your weekend with me and all my cinematic Dad Jokes!
I love my movie, but #JayAndSilentBobReboot is not worth bleeding over. Hope you at least enjoyed the flick and Q&A!
RICHMOND! You sold out our night show but the 3:30 matinee of the #JayAndSilentBobReboot Roadshow still has seats available! Join us at @TheNationalRVA the day after you exchange your Valentines! Tix here:
The road to PORTLAND, MAINE! The #JayAndSilentBobReboot Roadshow Tour hits the @statetheatreME TONIGHT! There are only 37 (“37?!?”) tickets left out of 1,296! Wanna sell us out? Grab those 37 tix right here:
We shot Silent But Deadly the night of my heart attack. So if you or watch it on @PrimeVideo now, you can look for warning signs of my impending death! Make it a drinking/smoking game!
MONTRÉAL! Merci for last night’s spectacular Sold Out standing O show! You were an amazing audience to watch it with! If you missed #JayAndSilentBobReboot in Montreal, we’re doing an encore screening TONIGHT at @mtelusmontreal! Tickets available here:
This was the original pitch. But Frisket wanted @SethGreen to play Jay, so I had to reimagine the flick in order to get @JayMewes in there. The sequel to this flick is #JayAndSilentBobReboot - The Guardian Code.
That’s #JayAndSilentBobReboot Roadshow Tour Manager @livroush. While our other Tour Manager @JoshRoush shoots the Q&A, Liv sits on stage with countdown cards, letting me know how much longer I’ve got. Without her, I’d likely talk all night - which is problematic for the venues.
Maybe that’s because Clerks II came out in 2006, not the 90’s. Also: Clerks II is my favorite of the Askewniverse movies (with #JayAndSilentBobReboot gaining fast). Also also: Clerks III takes place almost entirely at Quick Stop, so no airport stops.
I knew that shit sounded familiar! Hey @themandalorian! I want my motherfuckin’ movie check!
What events in Clerks II were ignored? Since Jay and Bob gave money to Dante and Randal to re-open Quick Stop, they were able to later lay claim to the closed RST Video for the Cock Smoker. (Way weirder was them not talking about their Dogma adventure at all in J&SB Strike Back.)
It is by @MarvelStudios alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the juice of Feige that thoughts acquire speed, the lips acquire ass-kissing stains, the stains become an advertisement. It is by @Marvel alone I set my mind in motion. (My God, these shows can have my whole heart!)
I know it’s #SuperBowl Sunday, but I’m more of a @NHL kinda guy. So since I’m in #Toronto after 2 amazing sold out #JayAndSilentBobReboot Roadshow screenings last night, I visited the @HockeyHallFame today to check out the 9 & 99 exhibit for Gordie Howe & Wayne Gretzky! So great!
When Silent Bob met Squirrelly Dan! You came to our #JayAndSilentBobReboot Roadshow screenings in Torontos, and that’s what’s I’s appreciates about ya’s, @KTrevorWilson! But “to be fair” I’m a massive fan of @LetterkennyProb!
Thank YOU kids for still buying physical media and making #JayAndSilentBobReboot the #1 BluRay! Buy Reboot here: Or buy a signed copy from @The_SecretStash here:
One of my favorite parts of every #JayAndSilentBobReboot Roadshow screening is the hero’s welcome the audience always gives @TheRealStanLee. This is what it was like to be behind the screen at the @FargoTheatre last night, when all that love and laughter hit hardest...
You folks in Fargo made me feel fantastic with your reaction to last night’s Roadshow screening of #JayAndSilentBobReboot! Thank you for the thunder! We only have 19 cities left on the Tour, with Toronto, Ottawa, & Montreal next! Montreal second show tix:
Wanna watch #JayAndSilentBobReboot in the comfort of your home? Click it: Wanna buy a signed copy from @The_SecretStash? Click it: Wanna watch the flick with me at 1 of the 20 cities left on the Tour? Click:
Many thanks to the Chef and the good folks at the classy-ass @FairmontWpg for the gift of a Blunt and Moon Rocks handcrafted out of Vegan chocolate! You made a guy who lives out of a suitcase feel at home! It was so beautiful and thoughtful, I almost didn’t eat it. Almost.
Done! Reach out to @JordanMonsanto. She’ll hook it up!
This happened 24 hours ago but I’m still smiling about it! This was my favorite part of last night’s #LNSM, but if you wanna see the whole appearance, click here:
SEATTLE! If you name your new @NHL team the KRAKEN, so help me Zeus, I will become a big, fat Krak-Head! Release the Kraken - the most absolutely metal name for hockey team since the @NJDevils! (Also: RT #BellLetsTalk all day, whenever you can!)
I was impaired alright: I was smiling so widely, it impaired my vision! And if this is considered “embarrassing” then I was more than happy to be humiliated! I had a blast on @LateNightSeth! Sorry if it made you cringe, but it made me nothing but happy!
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