Writer for @ScreenJunkies. Creator of the @Inside Streaming newsletter. Professor of the #MovieTriviaSchmoedown. President of these United States.
Why Can't Thor Just Be Thor? A poem Inspired by your dumb tweets
WHY CAN'T THOR JUST BE THOR A poem
RT @theo_dillon: “that’s @JAdomian, everybody, and he’s a genius.” -@TeamCoco brony sanders’ #comicon2019 appearance on conan. #friends…
RT @mrbrianfirenzi: KIDS ON PLAYGROUND: I am rubber and you are glue NICK FURY [stepping out from behind a tether ball pole]: which is why…
RT @bybowes: Guy Ritchie directing ALADDIN seems inevitable considering that his first five features, in varying ways, could've been titled…
tfw your Marvel tweet gets into a Twitter Moment
The real Snyder Cut was the friends we made along the way. https://twitter.com/chancewars_91/status/1153054964744429569
Uh, by finally cracking relativity? What, you think they just give these out? https://twitter.com/KAYLEEBURRIS/status/1153002002743529473
We're DEFINITELY sure we don't want to make this a federal holiday? Really? Just checking in on this. https://twitter.com/JimJarmuschHair/status/1152997923832995840
I'm not sure, if you had an opinion that you knew was embarrassing, to the point that you declined to speak it aloud when prompted, why you wouldn't just, you know, change your mind. Presumably, no one has a gun to this guy's head, compelling him to be a doofus.
He's refusing to tell me.
A stranger just wrote me saying he wants the new BLADE movie to be free from "political BS," and I wrote him back asking what he means. Twitter has basically become Postmates But For Awful Takes.
RT @nickusen: good morning from žižek talking about why he’s fascinated by kung fu panda
Ivanka really took her new fall collection in an unexpected direction but I don't hate it.
Also if you don't like your country, you should leave it, but countries shouldn't have to take in any people from other countries. https://twitter.com/morningmoneyben/status/1152934899998965761
DISNEY+: Hey, we've made a TV show out of every movie you've ever watched! CBS: We've reunited the entire cast of every "Star Trek"! HBO: What if Game of Thrones but The Watchmen? AMAZON: You guys like fantasy novels? Because we've purchased all of them! NETFLIX:
RT @Brandon_Bird: #WhatIf #MarvelPhase4 #MarvelStudios #SDCC2019 #HallH https://brandonbird.myshopify.com/collections/prints/products/what-if-frasier-joined-the-fantastic-four-signed-print
All Your Base Are Belong To Us https://twitter.com/WaltDisneyCo/status/1152959697198014465
If you're worried that you might be a pedant who hates fun, fortunately, there's now a simple test: "Have you ever tweeted to anyone to let them know about an important plot point from the film BLADE: TRINITY? Or the timeline of the BLADE films more generally?"
Now, LOOK, I'm not saying social media is filled with a bunch of pedants who hate fun but...
This breed grows up SO FAST! Before you know it, she'll be lying to her first congressional subcommittee.
All she's missing to fit in with this family is a white collar. Oh, and criminal background.
OK, so who should be the new Deacon Frost?
The answer, my friends, is Honey Nut Cheerios. https://twitter.com/nickchester/status/1152779803310919681
When we cure a new disease, everyone doesn't go "Well, the hypochondriacs are gonna hate it!" This is the same deal. Like 99.2% of us are bracing for the 0.8% to throw a tantrum. If we stop listening for it, we won't even hear them.
We're locked in a cycle now where a tiny fraction of the audience knows they can get a lot of attention by complaining about, say, female Thor or black Ariel or whatever. But it's pretty obvious those people don't speak for the masses. Or anyone who matters, really.
After the enthusiastic, loving reception to today's Marvel panel, I think we can assume the majority of fans appreciate inclusivity and diverse representation in these films. So next time there is a big announcement along these lines... maybe we can ignore the "blowback."
RT @erspamer_matt: Just announced in Hall H at #SDCC
So excited I'm going to go try ice skating uphill.
RT @MExasperated: Please Marvel gods, let the Blade movie have a cameo from Moon Knight so this scene can happen in live-action https://t.c…
Oh wow, even more unexpected good news! Did you guys know they announce stuff about movies and TV shows at Comic-Con now? https://twitter.com/ChrisHayner/status/1152765888350707712
(1) Make BLADE R-rated (2) Bring back Wesley and Kris Kristofferson in significant roles (3) Hang on, give me a minute, I'll think of more demands, but start on these two
Seriously, though, I love those first two BLADE movies and -- though I would definitely think you'd want Snipes involved on SOME level -- this is great casting and very exciting.
RT @ditzkoff: i hope Viggo Mortensen is his driver in this movie too
Wesley better be there too and Mahershala is his nephew or some shit.
WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING https://twitter.com/slashfilm/status/1152755969383784448
Are the announcements done? Can we take a moment to reflect on the fact that a full-blooded Jew is going to be cinema's new Thor? I think this means Bernie is going to be the next president.
Weird that Hawkeye's thing is going to be a topical panel discussion show, but at least they're not still trying to make him cool.
Pffffffft, Natalie Portman as Thor? She's not even a real Scandinavian deity.
It's hard being THIS RIGHT ALL THE TIME.
Love and Thunder is my favorite Kings of Leon album https://twitter.com/TheEricGoldman/status/1152750907743825920
Marvel's WHAT IF? will consider the limitless possibilities of the multiverse. Except for those Netflix shows, fuck them.
Strange-Man: Into the Multiverse
Loki’s been kidnapped! No ransom demands yet, but we got this note.
Willy Wonka should sue.
brb searching for anyone making a "Scarlett Johansson is Shang-Chi!" joke so I can pre-emptively block them.
Can they just turn this into a panel about LUST, CAUTION or INFERNAL AFFAIRS or IN THE MOOD FOR LOVE please?
I was pretty partial to Shane Black's take on Mandarin, but Tony Leung is cool. https://twitter.com/CoyJandreau/status/1152742589554016256
Good, cause frankly, I was getting sick of this hunger strike. https://twitter.com/Variety/status/1152738095827247104
 
 
 
 
 
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