TV & standup & improv & podcasts, hardly any movies Instagram: Instagram.com/PFTompkins
RT @RicardoAcaNYC: You may be wondering: what fuels the “dark money group” that threatens @PeteButtigieg so gravely? Yep. You heard it her…
Please no AOC I have already teased a medium announcement for tomorrow this will ruin me https://twitter.com/aoc/status/1230696676471562242
RT @LateNightNelly: Everyone feel free to roast my roommate who thought oatmeal cookies are just baked oatmeal
(3/2) DON’T WORRY I FOUND THE TREATMENT I couldn’t open the original file & had to open via text edit and cut and paste it into a doc. 1996! A few regrettable terms for 2020! Double-spacing after periods!
RT @MoreAndAgain: 🗣️NOBODY LOVES THEIR HEALTH INSURANCE!
RT @jamieloftusHELP: what if i told u i wrote this and sang it like julie london and they’re gonna put it on real television https://t.co/N…
We began the pitch and instantly realized that we sounded like idiots and that no one would ever buy this. It was our only meeting. The name of the show was “Centaur And The City” (2/2)
MANYyears ago @gregorybehrendt & used to riff on an old-fashioned sitcom about a guy whose roommate was a centaur. He had to hide the centaur when anyone came over, etc. We talked about it so much we accidentally worked up an actual pitch. We asked for a meeting. (1/2) https://twitter.com/shannonandswift/status/1230587845322006528
RT @BrotiGupta: the level of "fame" to aspire to: I mainly tweet things like, "ME AF" and attach a gif of a baby falling asleep while eatin…
RT @toddlevin: “BRING BACK SUNSET BOULEVARD!!!!”
..no? https://twitter.com/jdawsey1/status/1230676109085347841
RT @EggerDC: I get that the critique is supposed to tap into the image of a Soviet apparatchik illicitly enriching himself. But like... if…
RT @EggerDC: I have not been ragging on Bernie's lake house, because I genuinely don't understand what it's supposed to illustrate. Which B…
RT @byronm19: @laurenlapkus @PFTompkins @ScottAukerman perfect parenting advice today. My kids were being jerks to each other so I made the…
RT @electrolemon: i was asked to outline a movie based on Wu-Tang stealing back their album from Martin Shkreli. they turned it down becaus…
RT @FernieCommaAlex: Ok, hey, yeah, thanks for hopping on the call. I’ve got a few notes. There’s a cool idea in here but... maybe this is…
RT @bader_diedrich: Seemed funnier when i thought of it but it’s still the DMV
RT @Shitty_Future: #retro_SF
RT @ahrabik: Between the start and the end of last night's debate, Bloomberg made Bernie's entire net worth just in interest.
RT @AnnieW: I finally saw THE LIGHTHOUSE and it was everything I wanted it to be. Try making your own version at home with this recipe: Eq…
RT @leyawn: this is bloomberg's house in the hamptons vs bernie's house in vermont
RT @avaritious: quite literally THIS is what decadence means
RT @cinnamonlafemme: Just sitting here humming the theme song to the new @MaxFunHQ show I, Podius, performed by the WONDERFUL @PFTompkins.…
RT @StelliniTweets: cackling
RT @MHarrisPerry: Thank you for this work @kenklippenstein. I remember getting the NDA for Trump campaign volunteers (not paid workers) bac…
RT @Mike_A_OShea: Why not? Because of Victor Valencia, Kisha Michael, Marquintan Sandlin and every other unarmed Angeleno shot dead by pol…
RT @nevona: hey pete i paid $18k last year for health care. with full insurance coverage. from BCBS michigan who you worked for. anyway if…
RT @Manglewood: Feminists, I beg you, please stop sending pedophiles to infiltrate and corrupt our Good Christian organizations.
RT @ErikaAndiola: .@LuciaAllain1 and I disrupted the #DemDebate tonight, calling out the 3 million deportations of immigrants under the Oba…
RT @yayforzig: lmao clown
RT @nsilverberg: hm I wonder if the mega christian semi-influencer I hate-follow whose family inherited their money from her nazi grandfath…
I enjoyed the politics tv show tonight
RT @franklinhardy: Biden protestors needed to clarify among themselves whether its 1-2-shout or 1-2-3-shout.
RT @MHarrisPerry: Democrats vigorously battling one another is not bad for the Party. It doesn't make it harder to defeat Trump. Democrats…
RT @elivalley: "We must step forward into the future in order to win and in order to govern a country that will be facing issues the likes…
#MATH https://twitter.com/andrewyang/status/1230312138222247936
RT @liuba4congress: I was unlucky enough to be on the other side of @MikeBloomberg’s 2018 political support. Instead of supporting my cam…
RT @MHarrisPerry: Well-----
The fabled Mayor Code?????? https://twitter.com/proustmalone/status/1230326991326515200
Is Pete growing a mustache, I don’t like this
RT @FernieCommaAlex: Mike Bloomberg paid half a billion dollars to stand on a stage and have a bunch of other old people alternate between…
RT @BillCorbett: Been great seeing everyone treat Bloomberg with the contempt he deserves. I hope they all pull out a Big Gulp at once and…
RT @RheaButcher: As a kid of two single parents who have — for nearly their entire lives — and now currently, in their sixties, work/ed HO…
RT @pattymo: Reminder that you can get these kinds of posts off without watching a second of the debate, just see how everyone’s reacting o…
It would be hilarious if everyone else silently tiptoed off stage and the rest of the debate was Warren demolishing Bloomberg
RT @KirstenPowers: I wish someone would ask Bloomberg why he didn't believe black and brown people when they complained about stop and fris…
Why can’t lady look nice, be nice, everyone like nice lady better https://twitter.com/jrubinblogger/status/1230317991180546049
RT @thebryanpaulk: Can I make $$$ making memes for Bloomberg? Please hire me. This one would say: Ermahgerd, debates! https://t.co/e3GIM…
RT @TheRachelFisher: This woman who was attacked by a bear in California and had her face ripped off did a reddit AMA and she said the wors…
RT @lyzl: all you well-paid Bloomberg staffers, I begrudge you nothing, get your money, but absolutely keep leaking shit to Ashley
It’s also worth considering there’s a very good chance that Bloomberg wants to be President for the same reason Trump wanted to be President: the current President made fun of him.
RT @BigOldFreak: The @PFTompkins interpretation of the theme song on @ElliottKalan @hodgman #ipodius made my life measurably better thank y…
 
 
 
 
 
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